I Toss and Turn

For some reason I feel gloomy today. I feel depressed and alone. I always feel alone though, well sometimes.

If I had to pinpoint a reason why i feel this way I'd say that people underestimate my feelings for certain situations. For example, if something bad happens to me, and I make it seem like my world is falling apart, people would say "Oh yeah but it could be worse" or "I went through worse." It makes me think that people believe that I'm being idiotic or stupid for feeling hurt or "down." The only reason I make a big deal about it is because to me it really feels like the end of the world.

I guess I just have to live with people thinking that way.

ttfn.

Currently listening to: The Prayer-Kid Cudi

You Knocked Me Down

Friendship is supposed to be love, trust, and most of all honesty. Why is it that some people find it so hard to speak the truth? I understand that the truth is sometimes hard to face, if anyone knows anything about that it should be me! But why must someone create lies and make up these absurd scenarios for whatever reason it may be?

At this moment in my life I don't want to tolerate any liars. If I give my all to a relationship, any type of relationship, why can't the other person do the same? It's hurtful and it makes me want to give up on everything and everyone. It makes me want to forget about everyone and it makes me want to be alone. This way I won't have to deal with any one's bullshit. Why do I always have to test my friendships? Why is it that I can not have ONE functional friendship? Even when I think I have at least one true friend, it seems like I am alone and lost more than a person should be when they supposedly have friends.

I can't think straight right now. I feel completely abandoned for some reason and I feel betrayed. I'm a magnet for dysfunctional relationships--i have decided that now.

Au Revoir

Currently listening to: You're Not Sorry-Taylor Swift